How did you find out you were being cheated on reddit

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You can't blame a cheater for cheating, as much as we want to. We have lots of supportive, active Cheating isnt normalized, people have just not learned how to properly deal with being unfaithful or having unfaithful partners. edit to add: No idea where she is now. Best line from a movie that really stuck with me ( Closer if you're interested): There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one. 2- Your SO isn't paying you enough attention, giving you enough love. rabbitANDme • 6 yr. It just leaves you with a feeling of not being good enough. 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. However, it turns out your brain doesn't know how to cope with cheating/betrayal and rewires itself to cope. I had worked really hard to be who I was. Thanks for reading till the end if you did I know it’s a lot, I just needed to rant and let it out. As a reminder, r/survivinginfidelity also has a public chat! As an active member, get more personal faster reponses when you are looking for more immediate help. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery Business, Economics, and Finance. Surgery removes a pair of panties from poor doggo’s stomach. If you’re gonna fess up to something, do it wholeheartedly. covid restrictions for restaurants hit and i happened to be a waitress. She told me she worked late on a Sunday and then told me she went to a diner for a bite to eat. I told him things he wanted to hear. People can be cheated on, never find out, and live long happy lives with the person who cheated on them. Jan 14, 2021 · Say what you feel, but don’t make threats that you might regret later. 42M subscribers in the AskReddit community. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me, how I was the best thing that has ever happened to him, etc. It was my first bf, and it was so toxic, so him cheating was the least of the shit he did to me, I still took him back as the dummy I was. Oh Lordy … well the first time— my boyfriend Facebook messaged me and said “hey I cheated on you and now I have chlamydia you need to get checked bye”. To me, I’ve only been cheated on, when i still gave a fuck. People who cheat rarely only do it once. Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. Be the first to comment. i was leaving our apt for work and got a call as i was getting in the car from my job letting me know i was fired. Be the first to comment Nobody's responded to this post yet. The emotional cheating is so much rougher on you than the actual physical act. This went on for a week. Thinking you are part of the cheaters equation ever, is a mistake. I'd seen another girl during that time, but when my SO and rekindled our relationship, she didn't inform me that she was still seeing her 'friend'. Then, reaffirm your own value, self-worth, etc. Also, I have never heard of someone cheating on another when the relationship was going well and is happy (BUT that doesn't mean it doesn't happen - I just haven't seen that personally). If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. Even the BIBLE authorizes divorce because of adultery. Discussions focus on overcoming the challenges of going through infidelity and the recovery after. His roommate kept telling me he was cheating with his ex but I knew his roommate had a massive crush on me. I was devastated, but also like "he still came back to me". In my friend group, we’ve cut off people like that with no issue. If you actually care about the person being cheated on, you have to carefully consider the consequences. Make a list. I called them idiots which they were. My biggest regret was forgiving him when he started to cry about it. ” I entertained him. I asked him who he played with and his answer was so stupid I don’t even remember it. She broke down, apologized, but I kicked her out anyways. Second time: Friends told me. " Our mutual friend called me and told me everything. Did this to find out my ex rebounded to the guy she told me to not worry about for 3 years straight the day we broke up. She did everything she could to win We both cut her off after talking for a bit. Its about them not about you. Don't care what you're going through. I found out when she came back a week later because her roommate didn't want to keep up her lie for her. Our wedding picture had showed up in my university's alumni wedding album. Everything settled, 6 months later she did it again. But writing off addiction and compulsion wholesale as 'just being a greasy piece of shit' isn't particularly insightful. Three months after we'd gotten back together, I get a call from the 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Reply reply. Don’t feel dumb. They were picked up by cops somewhere in WV and I lost track of her for years. These people are no friends of yours. Crypto The key is to know that it was her mistake. Another instance where she was talking about how good it was the previous week and forgot that she'd logged into insta on my phone and his texts popped up in notifications. I broke up with her for like a week but being the dumbass I am, I went back to her--but we weren't as serious. I've been cheated on a few times. He tried winning her back for a while, and I actually tried to help him with it, but it didn’t work out (for a while, he blamed me for it - even though he cheated on her a second time). It has nothing to do with your value or what you deserve. If that is the case than its best to walk away because no one wants to be in a relationship without trust or one where their partner resents them. Imo changes the issues from being a bad partner to being a bad parent. Yes unless they know the person is in a relationship. From the guy she'd cheated on me with. 9. He of course worked in law enforcement. Not only will I look through your phone, I'll probably hack the shit outta your computer, too. etc. I should have thrown his phone out the window and kicked him out of my house. Here are some reasons I've come up with: 1- Your SO isn't "exciting" enough and you found a guy you like more, but who won't be in a relationship with you. I didn’t find out until March, and then I didn’t find out the rest until May. Reply. Depends on your definition of cheating. I think honestly it would do more damage to the psyche of the person cheating than the person they’re getting revenge on, but I can understand the desire to try to regain some control of First. The other girl's boyfriend mentioned it to me, thinking I already knew, at a New Years Eve party. Have you ever heard the saying from Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. For the overwhelming majority of people, divorce IS the best answer to infidelity. 1. Tried to make a joke about someone trying to flirt with her, had my suspicions and checked her phone to find out she's been sexting the guy. I then found all of these secret accounts on social media where he was being sexual with people and planning to meet up with them. To my knowledge I’ve never been cheated on. Kudos to this woman for doing the right thing. Then, she cheated on me again with a different guy. 2. ”. My last words to him were, "You were a huge waste of my time. The day she came back, I went over to her apartment, and she broke up with me. He cheated on you because he’s selfish, avoidant, insecure, and/or just an asshole. He cheated on me with a girl who had a boyfriend. So you'd never know you had it unless you actively presented symptoms (some strains cause warts, some cause cancer). During this break, try your best to treat yourself well. I texted the girl, and asked her if what he said was true, if they were friends, she told me that they weren’t. Business, Economics, and Finance. It was almost worse because he tried to tell me it didn’t count because “it was only the tip and he used a condom. timfromcolorado. Whenever you’re feeling frisky and you wanna reach out and cheat on your spouse, masturbate. If I thought I was being cheated on, I was never wrong, I was being cheated on. Found out later that she cheated on me with about 3 other people during the relationship that only lasted a couple months anyway. Not exactly cheated with because we were fwb but it's a funny story. Down side you will be the one who cheats, probably with the same type that cheated on you. Just very much a "protests too much" type situation He kept going out with "the friend and her" (later found out it was just her) and had elaborate stories about what the guy friend did, said, etc. Reply reply More replies. We'd been talking about Mike's exes, and how terrible they all were. 3. Once a cheater, always a cheater. when a car pulled up beside mine my gut told me to wait and see who she was waiting on as i 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. But make sure you establish with your partner what is and isnt cheating beforehand. He told me. I had literally been dating her for a month, and she was the one who pushed for something serious so it was very much a "what the hell" moment as much as anything and I ended it that moment. This was back in 8th grade, I was dating this girl, and she cheated on me with this other boy, I found this out by going to use the restroom, and seeing my girlfriend and this other boy making out, kissing on one of the stalls, I grabbed the boy and slammed him and started punching him repeatedly, the girl pulled me off, and I left the restroom . My reply was, because I needed to gather my thoughts before we spoke. Hang out with people who know and love you. I use to think it was bullshit and that maybe I was just overthinking, but once you feel it you WILL know. Man brings in the dog who’s having intestinal troubles. Own up to anything you may have done/not done to make it "easier" for her to make the decision to cheat, but she was the one who made the mistake. Crypto It won't if the person who cheated can't take talking about it or is defensive when talking about it. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery. 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. But, she did nothing to hide any of the snapchat/Instagram updates that she was around her ex too (keep in mind, according to her, a guy who had been cheating on her for months before she found out). Because when you are around someone for so long your brain registers that as good and releases dopamine, oxytocin and feel good brain chemicals. Post-nut clarity is a real thing. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought Things got better for a while and we eventually had a daughter together. The closest I got was a girl I went on three dates with who went on a cocaine bender and broke up with me via voicemail saying she was a lesbian now. That they had flirted and kissed. Crypto It was only after being told that they were back with one of the ex's they cheated on me with (who they had sworn they weren't dumping me for) that I was able to see the extent of the lies, using, and abuse I was being subjected to (though I didn't even realize that what was being said and done to me was abuse until relatively recently). Just don't have the honorable Man's baby then trash his heart. My GF at the time (19-F) was one of those (you know them) that liked to take a pic of the meal they were eating and post a comment about it. It really DOES. • 2 min. But to traumatize a child in the process is double fucked up. My ex had been sleeping with a married man (always said she was a lesbian but). Happy life now. My story is simple and short. It also won't work if the person who felt betrayed can't forgive them, not forget but forgive. • 11 yr. Add your thoughts and get the conversation going. Crypto You closure needs to come from knowing that she can't control your feelings and knowing that you are living a happy and healthy life now. He was a cool dude. It was everything I ever wanted. You aren't the monogamy police. She found out he was married by Googling him. billy_the_kid16. Intelligent, funny, kind, honest, women. Cheating is always on the cheater. Award. A few of them were talking about marriage at the same time they were cheating me. ago. Men have cheated on, broken up with, lied to, manipulated, abused, used, and rejected the most beautiful women in the world. Just throw them to the streets if they ever cheat without any leway. Oh when I saw it I was filled with confusion mostly. iammeltinghere. I have been cheated on several times in my life by people I have cared about dearly. If they waiver on any of that, you have to kick them to the curb. New clothes/underwear, over protective of phone, leaves room to talk on phone, starts going to gym, shaves her private parts, alternates between being attentive to not giving a shit. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. Asked her who she was with, she got super weird and eventually admitted to it being a guy she went out with. She sent a picture of the bowl of soup (chicken rice) in front of her, and But the thing is, when you're in that position, you can't NOT tell them. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Was totally crushed at the time. Basically upwards of 80% of sexually active people get it, but around 90% of those people clear the infection within 2 years without ever presenting symptoms. We were freshmen in college and honestly he was just a dumb boy. mrsmoo. During the promo, she asked people on her IG "what's the craziest thing you've ever done for someone with great sex?". Cheating's one thing, I think most cheaters just think they can get away with and don't care that much about who they hurt. 8. I became friends with her and we still meet up now and then, and we’re both glad we dodged that bullet really (although I still work with him). Went over to his house and noticed the Uno cards were out of the box. There is risk in every action. Then she Googled me, found out where I worked, and called asking for me. then his name on the mailbox a week later when I got out. As infj, being cheated on i feel is less significant than a break up. The good thing is that you can always tell yourself that you tried and gave it all but they didn’t deserve you. People started confessing the MOST pearl-clutching and outrageous things 😬😂 (examples above) which prompts my question, how'd you find out you were getting cheated on? Side note: Could you imagine the side chick being Oct 7, 2015 · Try to resist these urges, and give yourself the opportunity to make as clear-headed a decision as possible. My therapist (yes, I'm back in therapy) asked me who I wanted to be now. Crypto Business, Economics, and Finance. So yeah, that’s how I found out. i was sitting in the car stressed, crying, about how to pay bills. " ? When something is off, bitches do NOT deserve privacy. Call in sick to work for a Business, Economics, and Finance. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. So he told his wife, who messaged me on Facebook, then called me, sent the screenshots and told me everything. I was either told outright for dramatic effect by the perpetrator, or found out myself and I don’t know that person anymore There was a change in the personality. The worst thing you can do is let it change who you are which will drag into other relationships. Also, an honest, straightforward child is a power to be reckoned with. He kept listing reasons why she was attractive, but he didn't find her attractive, wouldn't sleep with her, etc. I had a dream, in this dream I saw all the messages he sent to dozens of girls. As a guy who has cheated in the past, let me offer some advice. Maybe not as much of a piece of shit as the cheater themselves, but still a massive piece of shit. You deserve a partner who loves you and is exclusive, and people that will have your back and cast out scummy assholes. But I knew he was cheating because the first time I went over to his house that was the game we played, and his line was, “Loser has to kiss the winner. I cried and was really sad for a while. And no, I've never cheated on anyone. She and I had taken a break and she'd slept with him during this period, which was fine. Ex ruined 3 marriages all at once. It's a combination of how shitty these people are in the first place, and realizing how easy it is to do it. ) DO trust your feelings and observations. jordan-lakers9394. She ranaway to TN with her “best friend”. I gave her a week, she took a trip out of town to be with another dude. r/AskReddit A chip A close button A chip A close button Business, Economics, and Finance. i just don’t understand how he could have a relationship last long while im still healing from what he did and haven’t dated anymore since then. When you physically cheat, you break the marriage bond itself because the most basic element of the marriage bond is physical sex. I thought I was living the dream. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought Nothing is wrong with you, just take all the traits all the Exes had in common and date men opposite of those traits. Don't allow her to control your feelings now, especially considering you're 1 year removed from her. Crypto I stayed! he cheated while we were “exclusive” a month before we actually started dating. -First and foremost, don't let this effect you. Worse case scenario you actually will find a honorable Man. This changes you so profoundly. Saw a pic of her and another guy on instagram. New Years (after 1 year of seeing each other) he told me he's going to the mountains with the boys (including my neighbour's brother), while I spent the new years at my neighbour. GristleMcThornbody1. Funny, that many many years ago my ex did pretty much exactly what you did (left me, cheated on me w/ girl #2), and Lady Karma bit him in the ass in exactly the same way you got bit (she cheated on/dumped his ass a year later). Man and wife come back to pick up the dog and the vet techs present the panties (in a bag) bc they thought it was funny. She said she was going to need time to study for her finals. Having a conversation with someone else can make someone insecure think you’re cheating. Nobody's responded to this post yet. Also they can't test for HPV in men. I’ve never been cheated on. First one, long distance relationship. I found that one out because she thought she was pregnant again and her mom basically forced her to tell me. She went ghost white, he didn't speak, I told her to get a bag and that maybe he should come get her because she wasn't using either of my vehicles. At least. Please. Turned out it she wasn't pregnant. [deleted] • 11 yr. I figured he was just trying to break us up to have a chance Dude answered and said Hey you, why did you call and hang up earlier. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. If you feel that you’re being lied to or that your partner is still cheating We had been in a relationship for a year at that point. The guy she was cheating on me with was one of my friends brother and he told me. It took two more of these to see the cycle, simple sleuthery led to the admitted truth that every time I was accused, she was the one cheating. He had a break down when my wife cheated on him with his (also male) best friend. If you know that the person you are sleeping with is in a relationship with someone else and you continue, you are a total piece of shit. 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Basically, trust your gut. throwaway-o. The cheater needs to show you with specific words and deeds, worked out in couples counseling, that proves his fidelity. Crypto As a man, I'm curious as to the psychology of why certain women cheat. Because i know who i am and i gave my best infj-est effort and this person i once loved turned their back on me, that it's not really me who should feel sad but them for being so ughunlike a breakup where the faults are yours. Wife stares for a lonnnng minute and then says “those aren’t mine. Afterwards there was a hole of depression for a while. Let's call me Alexa, boyfriend Brian, the other guy Mike, and the girl Katie. I was his first girlfriend. It's nothing you did. I honestly have no idea. Cheating when you're just a couple is a horrible thing to do. Made me jump through crazy hoops to prove myself, but “believed” me. When you realize it and say something she will tell you that you are crazy. You just did what people should do in a healthy relationship, trust your partner. Asked him to tell me if he ever wants to pursue a relationship with someone so that I can step out. That's pretty hard core. I later found out that everything he told me was a lie. This is a support sub, a safe place to ask for advice and guidance. [deleted] • 1 yr. You lose that priveledge when you act like a sleaze. •. She accused me of cheating out of the blue. Or check it out in the app stores Home; Popular If you’re saying you’re still committed to a person after discovering they’ve betrayed you, and then you betray them, I’d still call it cheating. They might have even known this was all happening and been fine with it. If they violate your trust, it’s not on you. I was getting tired of it already, so while he was asleep, I sent him the screenshots I took. Them cheating says nothing about you, its not about you, you weren't even a part of the math a cheater does. If you really love your spouse that post-nut clarity will kick in immediately and you will be relieved you didn’t cheat. There normally are subtle (sometimes not subtle) signs that feelings have shifted. They told her I was out on maternity leave with our second child. You need to find better friends, OP. 6. Got in her car and noticed there was a fast food cup in the passenger side door cup holder. I need advice on how to care less. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. The reason "once a cheater always a cheater" tends to be true is because the act itself is so effortless. How did you find out you were being cheated on? Setup to go to jail. I am almost 7 years out, and one thing for sure, is you will never be who you were before. Cheaters cheat, thats what they do. The cheater needs to understand that getting back in your good graces may take years. My last long term relationship was pretty much cheating on me in one way or another for our 4 years together. Remain a It’s been over a year now I should be over it. Then a week later he left his phone in the bathroom and went downstairs, so I took it (I’ve never done this before) and I saw that the dream was actually true lol, I saw the exact same things as in my dream. Sort by: Add a Comment. vh kl tm ak lp sd dj jz kr tq